I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
