the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
