I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I want to be your penis for a week.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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