I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
