paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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