Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
