sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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