I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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