fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
