I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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