i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
