Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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