I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
