so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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