I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
