Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
pop tarts are not kleenex
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
