i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize