We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
