Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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