Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
