Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize