Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize