I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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