i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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