clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
