Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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