Me. At least after what I've been through.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
