I didn't shave. On purpose
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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