new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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