Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
