Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize