Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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