There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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