how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
