oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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