If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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