Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
