yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
