i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
