Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
