You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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