my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
