I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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