Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
