and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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