If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
