What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
