operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
