You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
