Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
