i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just invented taco cereal.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
