My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize