what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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