yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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