hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
