he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
