I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
