You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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