Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize