Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
