Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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