I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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