Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize