More tranny stories later!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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