He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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