i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
