Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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