his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
