Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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