I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My breasts were aching with rage.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
