I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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