Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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