dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We have started to decorate penises.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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