You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
